Irregularly Rosterized Gangsters
Cadu:
Godfather
Not much is known about this enigmatic, asinine figure. He rules the irregulators much as he rules the turntables...little to not at all. He is, however, frequently seen near certain "chosen" members of this already prophesized collection of messiah(s), demigod(esses), and future young republican(s). Arguably the member with the most four letter name, you may hear yourself using it as an interjection as you wile the hours away in your parents' basement(unless your mom is dead, then it's parent's...and we are very sorry, we cared for her deeply[on the nightly]).
notalec:
Underboss
Just exactly what notalec, who is definitely not Alec Lively of 23 Flint Meadow Drive as has been insinuated recently, is doing underneath the boss is a subject for much debate. Always ready to start a fight, and occasionally ready to finish it, notalec shines as a beacon of light deep in the belly of his numerous methlabs situated in or around the MetroBoston area. Despite his racial handicap(he got kicked out of Canada) notalec seems to be able to read and write near fluent English, as well as subtract numbers equal to or lesser than the amount of his fingers that aren't currently inserted into any of various orifi. That's why he's notalec.
illmatickDSL:
Outward resistance similar to that of game bird
Let's get this right out in the open. This man is as hard, if not harder, than a turkey(with/(out) sexual aspects). Does this enervate or augment his illmatickness? This, as much of the descriptions on this page, causes some debate amongst the people who created the page(namely us i.e. not you). What is not open to debate is the fact that being hard(er) as/than a turkey means you are HARD, so you can cut that shit out with a quickness. Currently(and eternally) in the list of Top 100 Dealers, the illmat-to-the-icknazz plays according to his own rules...Rule #1...you going down!!
ShugaMomma: Pimpess nolo contendre
What can you say about a girl who plays an online game with a bunch of guys and is actually cute? Nothing if you know what's good for you...cause she'll find out...and when she does...let's just say that's not dye that makes her hair that color. International Mistress of Mayhem, Bizznitch of the Hizznoes, and the Geisha Girl of Imaginary Gustation : these are just some of the many titles we get to make up for her since she's not here right now(she doesn't like us that much). Foremost in resilience, you just can't keep a good ho down. Be on the lookout for this Bad Momma, as she may need someone to attack her soon. She's into that....really...
Eyboardcrawl: Pepsinating the masses
Who or what is an eyboard, and what's with the crawling? Is the eyboard itself crawling? Are you crawling on said eyboard? Well the man himself sure as hell won't tell you, not when you're looking into the barrel of one of his chromed 9's. His fo' fo' make sure all yo' kids don't grow. Thuggin' and Druggin' his way to the top, you all best to recognize the fact that you sure as hell ain't crawling on the eyboard, but the eyboard is most definitely creepin' up on you.
SmoovMoDee: Smoover than U
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, freaky-deakies of all ages...prepare to be Smooved. Representing the 603 to the HOE in the year T3, Smoov be all that you heared about...and more. The mackinest man ever to be denied by both Shuga and umbilical, Smoov still be hitting (on) that shit on the nightly(word is bond, son). For all tha' future playa's in the wack game of life Smoov be dropping this nugget of Pimpin' Philosophy : Anything goes when it comes to hoes cause pimpin' ain't easy.
Remember kids : always wear yo' jim cap cause tha' HIVvy be wack.
SammySixDix: aka The Dixie Flatliner
** MIA **
Feeling the full force of all Six, huh? Feels pretty damn good, don't it? A man so naturally talented as one who can punish you thusly can only be one who has been imbued with the divine light of the Six-Headed Hydra of Protuberance. Know all Six as intimately as you know your own. You will feel the wrath soon enough. One as good as Six? Not in your wildest dreams..a one that is not cold is scarcely a one at all..while Six is MOTHERFUCKIN' HOT. Six chunka chunks of burning love, melt yo' face right off. We ain't talking about no SCSI hard-drives. We're speaking of the man who puts the Dix back in Six, none other than SammySixDix.
umbilical: aka The Tube Technician
Come to think of it I don't think umbilical would want us saying anything about her tubes...or anything tube related....let's move on. Oh yeah, just cause she's a lady pimp doesn't mean she doesn't dig the meat sticks...if you get what I'm driving at. It just takes a woman's touch to truly know how to efficiently sell your body. umbilical started in the sex industry as one of the "new wave" of Tree Porn stars. Using this leverage to open up a chain of "Motor Lodges" she quickly joined up with the Irregulators upon finding out that one of the members had not one, but six "branches." Old habits die hard, but this stone cold sex-peddler doesn't die at all...word. Notice we did not mention her tubes at all, even though we think they're swell.
UrbanRenewal:
aka The Bigger Digger
The Father of Civil Engineering says "the fundamental design structure of our area does not include plans for suckers like you." At home at the drafting table and fully qualified to be drafted, UrbanRenewal believes that safety begins at home. Once y'all motherfucka's are beat down it'll be safe at his home. Doesn't that give you a warm feeling inside? Oh wait, that's the internal bleeding resulting from his restructuring of your major arteries. Democracy at work, your tax dollars going to waste, and you getting wasted. It's all wrapped up in a pretty little package, and the cornerstone of that package? The block the builders rejected. If he who is without sin should cast the first stone, then duck...motherfucker.
Affinodor:Kan Get Booty
Mr KGb himself has signed with the irregulars. In most cases that would mean we own your ass. However when dealing with the russians you have to be carefull (they are a testy[as in testicle] breed) they will own you before you even make your first move. The irregulators are lucky to have such a guy that would join us willingly. Operating from many undisclosed locations he rules all you suckas with an iron fist (of reletive hardness to the iron curtain). Although always down with the vipness of the irregulaotrs he has only recently left his russian entorage to join with the gang that holds more #1's than any other. So step the fuck off, we got one more #1 coming your way.
Chops360: Just That Hard.
In this business you come across some hard people, some that are even as hard as nails. If any of you have ever had an encounter with nails (as I am sure you have) you can confirm the fact that they are hard. So hard in fact you may not wish to encounter them again. This is exactly why the irregulators have a man like chops on their side, he provides the hardness that all others fear.
BabyShooter: aka The Baby Sitter.
Genrally a prick, but always an asshole, babyshooter is a overachieving smack-talker. Allthough all of the irregulators are looking for a fight, babyshooter has the tendacy to start them for us. He has been know to rule the message board in the same way the irregulators rule your mom(and thats alot). So whats with the name you might ask. Well what do you think is with the name? Is it not clear enough? he will shoot your babies!. So watch your ass and your babies, this crazy mother fucker is as hard as they come.
Skizz:aka the jc2k
There is really only one word for this top 100 thug , DAMN. Representing the irregulators is not an easy task, unless of course you are the Jc2K. At which point representing is an invouluntary motion , like breathing. With traits similar to those of jesus christ(hence the "Jc" in Jc2K) he can bring the wrath that is feared by followers of all religions, especially yours. Skizz joined up with the irregulators from a remote location where he (as far as we can tell) runs some sort of post-christian pro-skizz cult. The irregulators however do not discriminate against any religion or cult, especially when the person in question is unstable enough and hard enough to beat even our asses.
ChiefDawg: Your mothers favorite
What exactly a man named chief is doing in a position other than the chief is very unclear, but make no mistake about it he still runs shit in a chief like manner. That is to say he will tell your ass what to do and you will do it. other wise your likely to get your ass burned like so many before you. In fact the only people he hasn't burned would be us and your mom thats right all yalls' moms'. Mainly becuase your mom will give it up to chief on a regular basis, and you just don't burn someone that does that for you. Operating off the now infamous 130 chief has quickly become an integral part of the irregulators. And if you think this irregulator is backing off anytime soon, guess again , he is in for the long hual (just ask your mom if you don't belive us).